raanch: December 2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Resentments

posted by Sam @ 12:37 AM

Paraphrased: "We aren't supposed to have resentments, so it's easy for me to delude myself into thinking I don't have any or that any I have I have dealt with rather than stuffing them down inside."

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Speaker

posted by Sam @ 9:25 PM

Met with a sponsee tonight then headed to a speaker meeting. The speaker was a homegroup member I don't know well. I like hearing people's stories, for I get to know them a bit and that makes it easier for me to approach them and talk.

I also sat beside a straight man who I admire. It was nice to have a real conversation with him. I paid attention to what he asked as conversation starters/continuers. I'd like to learn more from him to increase my comfort interacting with straight men.

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test

posted by Sam @ 12:14 PM

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

There are two actions in the Serenity Prayer

posted by Sam @ 11:14 PM

Tonight I shared about the happening between meetings last night. One great thing that was said in response was to the effect of:

If I continue to try to accept something and continue to find I cannot, perhaps acceptance is not the action to take. Perhaps changing is...

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Friday, December 26, 2008

The Hand and a Speaker

posted by Sam @ 11:55 PM

Had a tough moment tonight, couched between two meetings... Can't think of a better time to have a tough moment.

6PM: I shared about seeing what appeared to be a struggling AA member in the grocery store, buying alcohol in a uniquely alcoholic way. I didn't confront. We greeted each other as we usually would (after the alcohol had been put back upon first seeing me...). He checked out before I did, but stayed in car. I had another errand across the street and saw him go back in. While he was inside, I left my business card on his window. I hope he'll call...

8PM: A good friend, my first sponsor's wife, was the speaker. 14 years of sobriety as of a couple of minutes ago! It was good to hear her speak and good to visit with many friends afterward. I love my tribe!

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

A Sober Christmas

posted by Sam @ 9:25 PM

So grateful for another sober Christmas... Just got back from a men's meeting that I'm really glad coincided with Christmas this year.

I don't have to put myself in situations with people, places or things that threaten my sobriety or my serenity.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

2 meetings

posted by Sam @ 12:21 AM

A much better day!

Nooner about freedom... A great freedom I've received (other than from alcohol) is from learning to say "I don't know."

Eveninger about how things have changed... Any day I don't drink is a good day. Any day all my character defects are in full swing and I don't drink is a great day.

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Depression

posted by Sam @ 9:31 PM

Someone shared tonight how, when she's in a depression, she has a choice to pick up the tools laid at her feet. When she does, even though it seems it will take a long time to get back to "normal," she is "rocketed" back to where life is good. I want that...

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Polevault over a rat turd...

posted by Sam @ 10:21 AM

Polevault over a rat turd...

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Detach with love instead of

posted by Sam @ 8:35 PM

Detach with love instead of indifference...

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Insanity

posted by Sam @ 10:46 PM

Tonight we read about the guy who put the whiskey in the milk. Insanity, indeed...

I'm powerless over the thought of a drink popping into my head. It doesn't happen often, maybe 3 or 4 times a year. The thing is, I don't have to entertain the thought. I can pray, call someone, pray, focus on what's in front of me (unless it's alcohol!), pray...

I'm so grateful for the returned sanity!

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Two meetings

posted by Sam @ 12:39 AM

Went to the noon meeting today - topic was happiness and giving it away. Pretty good meeting. Got to take some ginger ale, soup and crackers to a sick friend who doesn't have transportation. It was perfect timing, for he lives right at the club. I wonder how that happened...

From the second meeting: "There's no growth in comfort and there's no comfort in growth."

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Monday, December 15, 2008

Four Birthdays

posted by Sam @ 10:27 PM

There were four birthdays celebrated at my home group meeting tonight! The hope shared by two of them and knowing what they've been through recently (a horrible death of a loved one), really touched me.

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

2 one-on-ones, a meeting and a play

posted by Sam @ 12:03 AM

Met with sponsor this morning: Acceptance
Men's meeting after that: Baby pool faith vs. cliff diver faith
Met with sponsee after that: Step 8
Met with FA, saying goodbyes before his trip to France
Helped another sponsee load up moving truck
Helped put on "My Name Is Ebenezer S." this evening
Went out with 10 of the tribe after that and there were about 10-15 more of us where we went

It's been a good day!

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Friday, December 12, 2008

A Gratitude List

posted by Sam @ 2:34 PM

I'm working with a new sponsor now; have been for a few months. We haven't had much of a chance to meet with each other, though. I'd been traveling a lot and, once home, his travels began! Still, we do talk on the phone (Does any sponsee call his sponsor as much as he should?) and meet when we can. We had lunch yesterday and talked about what's been going on with me and my funk of the past week or so. He suggested two things: a gratitude list and pages 86 and 87 in theBig Book. Here's my gratitude list:

I am thankful and grateful for:

Being able to do my work in places like coffee shops
Being able to take Granny to the doctor today and to hold her hand while she got 2 shots
I haven't once wanted to take a drink during this funk
Being able to take the top down on my car earlier this week
My sponsor and sponsees; being able to talk freely with them
Being able to help people anonymously
Clients who continue to want my services
So many meetings here that I can go to different ones whenever I want
Awareness of when I have choices
Willingness to do things differently from my auto-pilot
Coffee!
The sun shining today
All the connections I've made on Facebook
Nothing is permanent; This too shall pass...

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Why stop?

posted by Sam @ 9:45 PM

Blogging has been a huge part of my recovery. Despite the reminder email I get every night at 9, I have stopped blogging about my recovery or meetings. It's time to resume... yet again.

Tonight's meeting was a BB meeting. I really wasn't into it and cannot recall a single thing that touched me during it. A friend did pick up his 5-year chip and I'm glad I was there to see that. Afterward, I stayed at the clubhouse for a rehearsal of "My Name Is Ebenezer S.", a play my homegroup puts on each year. This is the 14th production and I'm running the soundboard for it. I did feel better during that and after. I never know where or when the help I need comes, but I am grateful when I'm there to get it.

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