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Today was my last day at my employer of over 17 years. It's not really hit me and probably won't for a few weeks. I figure once I'm past the vacation-like time period, I'll realize what's happened. I'm a bit somber right now. I teared up a couple of times, saying goodbyes, but that's all. With it being the holidays and all, so many people left early, using vacation time. A lot of goodbyes were missed.

I did one thing that was taking a little advantage of my position there. I had full access to the scrolling news feed on the internal TV system. I used to edit and format announcements for it. I posted a single graphic - no words or anything else. It's the World Peace Symbol from the website of Margie Adam. A few people will know I did it. Others will simply see it and hopefully think and maybe smile. If it's undesired, one of my former coworkers can simply delete it - no harm done.

I got off work early and am now at home, writing this. I didn't expect to have the afternoon to myself. I don't quite know what to do with me right now. Hmmmm... perhaps relaxing is the thing. I don't really just do nothing very often.

I've not yet written it down, but I have a honey-do list a mile long. I plan not to promote my business during January. Rather, I plan to get a great start on an exercise regimen ("I don't have time." won't cut it anymore!), whittle away at the honey-do list, work on a few personal projects (like digitizing old photos and negatives and getting their stories recorded), work a bit (I'll still have some business coming in), OH! and go to meetings I've never been able to get to because of my previous work schedule. I think I'll likely become a regular at a couple of my favorite coffee shops, too.

As the days progress and as I get out of the vacation mode, I'll find my schedule and be firmly into a new phase of my life. I plan to go to an 8:00 a.m. meeting each weekday, not only getting in a meeting, but using it as my schedule's anchor - much like showing up to work at 6:30ish each morning lo these many years.

I don't think I've asked this of you, but I certainly am now. Please pray for me folks. Pray for me to stay out of the way and let this wonderful life keep on getting better and better. Pray for me to keep doing the things I need to do to keep growing. Pray for me to find/feel/see/hear/know the path on which I best fit and to move down it as if I know where I'm going. Though I don't know where I'm going, every step I've taken over these three and a half years (and before) has brought me closer to right now. I really like right now. I bet I'll like the next right now, too. Thanks for reading this and for thinking of me while you did. If you will, say a little prayer for me and know I'm praying, too.

Also know, you're on my mind.

As I was sitting on the porch at the recovery club yesterday ('cause my key doesn't work - gotta get a new one - it's gettin' cold!) waiting for my sponsee to arrive, I had a lot of things going through my head. We've only met once and she was late then. Accordingly, I was not surprised to still be sitting by myself at 5:10. However, I did start thinking about how she needed to work on her punctuality and other things that I like and try to practice myself. It seemed the wrong tack for me to be thinking on, so I pondered what and (more importantly) why I was thinking this way. Then a thought occurred to me and I wrote it in my book:

It is not for me to mold, but to help one find one's molder.

My sponsee did not show up and my call to her went directly to voicemail. However, at about 5:57 (just before the meeting started), someone got me from the meeting room, telling me I had a phone call. My sponsee called the club to talk to me and apologize for missing our appointment again. I accepted her apology, but reminded her that I will not chase her down. If she wants this, she's got to come after it and I will help all I can when she does.

Ya know something, though? In the time I set aside to work with her yesterday, even though I didn't get to work with her, work was done on me. And I didn't drink.

A friend sent me this last night. I think it's quite apropos for a coffee-drinker like me!

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups... Enjoy your coffee! "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."