Sharing Pain = Less Pain
I've got something on my mind. It's rattling around in there, but, thankfully, not nearly as badly as it was a few hours ago. I've learned something in my time in this program: talk about what hurts.
I am going to talk with Sponz about what's up and with MP and FA, too. It may stop there or I may share it with more of the people in my program and in my life. I don't yet know. What I do know is that my first thought was to hide it. Then I thought to broadcast it. Then I thought that I probably shouldn't trust my thoughts on this. (Good thought!) So I talked with a good friend about it - I shared it - I disclosed it - I took away much of its power by telling on it. THAT is something I would NEVER have considered or even thought of to consider several years ago. THAT is progress.
I talked with Sponz yesterday about how, for me, it's difficult to measure my progress, but it's easy as all get-out to see how much progress I need/want to make. One thing she pointed out to me is that my awareness of where I want to go is great progress. She referenced a thought I'd shared with her early in our relationship. I had learned it from a course I'd taken years before.
I am going to talk with Sponz about what's up and with MP and FA, too. It may stop there or I may share it with more of the people in my program and in my life. I don't yet know. What I do know is that my first thought was to hide it. Then I thought to broadcast it. Then I thought that I probably shouldn't trust my thoughts on this. (Good thought!) So I talked with a good friend about it - I shared it - I disclosed it - I took away much of its power by telling on it. THAT is something I would NEVER have considered or even thought of to consider several years ago. THAT is progress.
I talked with Sponz yesterday about how, for me, it's difficult to measure my progress, but it's easy as all get-out to see how much progress I need/want to make. One thing she pointed out to me is that my awareness of where I want to go is great progress. She referenced a thought I'd shared with her early in our relationship. I had learned it from a course I'd taken years before.
Imagine a pie chart. It represents the knowledge of the Universe. A tiny sliver represents what I know I know. (i.e. how to make a PBJ sammich) Another sliver, bigger than the first, represents what I know I don't know. (i.e. how to fly a jet) The remainder, the HUGE portion, represents what I don't know I don't know. (i.e. well... hmmm... I dunno!)There is certainly progress in adding to what I know I don't know. The gift of this program to me continues to be awareness. Sometimes I get really tired of my growing awareness. Sometimes I would like to be blissfully ignorant of things I know I know and things I know I don't know. Still, I cannot help but be grateful for awareness. It gives me freedom to choose how I will live my life.
