Downtime
I was a bit into my head this weekend and it got a bit rough. I talked with MP about it a little, kinda just getting it vocalized. Basically, the final gist of it is that time off of work now is not what time will be like next year. I'm still very much in the headspace that when I have vacation/holiday from work, the object is to chill out and do little. To relax and enjoy the time, maybe working a bit on personal projects, but generally taking a break. Well, I just had five days of it and it was not all that great. Friday I was out sick and that was lay around the house and be cooped up time. Thankfully, that bit didn't last, but the deadhead did. I couldn't get motivated to do much of anything. Add on top of that the extra 2 holidays for the 4th and I had plenty of time to be nutty. It wasn't so very bad - I've had much worse. I did go to the Saturday night meeting and a small group of us went to the theater. (Go see "The Devil Wears Prada" - It's fabulous!) Anyway, I think you probably get the idea. I was stuck in lazy mode and that messed with my head since nowadays I'm usually run, run, run.
Running all the time wears me down and I know I don't get enough sleep most of the time, usually about 5 hours. I slept TONS over the past 5 days, sleeping until noon one of them and generally until 9 or 10 the rest. Getting up at 5:30 this morning was horrible.
What I'm circling the drain on here is this:
Come next year, after I've gotten the VACATION!!! bit out of my system, I'll establish routines that I just don't want to even try right now. Right now, when time "off" is only in bits, I just cannot even think of getting up earlyish, getting ready, going to a meeting, getting coffee/breakfast, exercising, and running my business. That's what I imagine my routine will be like, but I just can't bring myself to do it when I've only got a day or two (or five) to do it and then I'm right back into the grind. However, not doing it during these past few days and not feeling up to much of anything got me thinking that the past few days are what next year will be like. Bad projection. Realistically, I don't think that's how I'll be, but whilst right in the midst of it, that's all I could sometimes see.
It will be different and I hope it'll be somewhat like I want. Still, that's over half a year away. I've got to live here today. Right now... I want a nap!
Running all the time wears me down and I know I don't get enough sleep most of the time, usually about 5 hours. I slept TONS over the past 5 days, sleeping until noon one of them and generally until 9 or 10 the rest. Getting up at 5:30 this morning was horrible.
What I'm circling the drain on here is this:
Come next year, after I've gotten the VACATION!!! bit out of my system, I'll establish routines that I just don't want to even try right now. Right now, when time "off" is only in bits, I just cannot even think of getting up earlyish, getting ready, going to a meeting, getting coffee/breakfast, exercising, and running my business. That's what I imagine my routine will be like, but I just can't bring myself to do it when I've only got a day or two (or five) to do it and then I'm right back into the grind. However, not doing it during these past few days and not feeling up to much of anything got me thinking that the past few days are what next year will be like. Bad projection. Realistically, I don't think that's how I'll be, but whilst right in the midst of it, that's all I could sometimes see.
It will be different and I hope it'll be somewhat like I want. Still, that's over half a year away. I've got to live here today. Right now... I want a nap!
