Parole Date
Finally, the end is in sight! (or at least known...) I received my "end date" letter this morning from my employer. My employment terminates on December 31, 2006. If I stay until then, I will receive a nice severance check. I certainly plan to stay.
Now that the date is known, I can commence to making plans for After. It has truly been an exercise in patience and a reminder of powerlessness. I really am not in control of my life. Oh sure, there are many things about it I have control over. But, ultimately, there are just too many variables, too many things I have no control over that have significant impact/control/consequences in my life. If trying to control all that doesn't drive a person to drink (or other), then that person is far from normal. I'm glad I don't have to own all those variables. The only thing I need to learn to control is my thinking and my lack of thinking (i.e. my instincts/reactions). If I keep growing there, I'm going to be just fine.
Now that the date is known, I can commence to making plans for After. It has truly been an exercise in patience and a reminder of powerlessness. I really am not in control of my life. Oh sure, there are many things about it I have control over. But, ultimately, there are just too many variables, too many things I have no control over that have significant impact/control/consequences in my life. If trying to control all that doesn't drive a person to drink (or other), then that person is far from normal. I'm glad I don't have to own all those variables. The only thing I need to learn to control is my thinking and my lack of thinking (i.e. my instincts/reactions). If I keep growing there, I'm going to be just fine.
